Lovely, beautiful, sexy polygons! You can’t beat some tantalisingly shaded pixels. Here are some of the best looking females ever programmed by games designers. (In my opinion anyway – don’t hate on me if your fav didn’t make it into my top 10)
#10 Chun Li, Street Fighter
She might be a bit of a brawler but this lady can take me down any day of the week. If she can stand on her head and wiz through the air for her signature ‘spinning bird kick’ then the mind can only imagine what other moves she’s got up her sleave when behind closed (bedroom) doors!
#9 Piper, Fall Out 4
Of all the companions in Fallout 4, Piper was the one whom I spent the most time with. She became a companion in the true sense of the word. We had a love hate relationship and in many ways it was a lot like a marriage. Sure she grated on me a little bit, but she was always there for me and willing to help out. Plus she made a great pack mule – I loaded her up with all the junk I’d found while I ran around as light as a feather.
#8 Faith, Mirrors Edge
Faith Connors, the parkour queen from mirrors edge is admittedly lacking in the sex appeal department. There’s even something a little tom boy about her. You also hardly ever see her due to the game’s first person perspective. But it’s perhaps this air of mystery that draws you to Miss Connors. She doesn’t need masses of cliched sex appeal to be sexy. She lets you imagine all that. Often it’s much more effective!
#7 Sam, Until Dawn
Two words. Hayden. Panettiere.
I’m a sucker for short women. Would I prefer a 6’6 leggy blonde or a petite 4’11 cutie pie? I’d go for the 2nd option every day of the week. I’ve always been a big fan of Hayden. What’s more to see her playing the only likeable female in Until Dawn, surrounded by slutty archetypes who you are physically trying to kill off was pretty refreshing.
#6 Bonnie McFarlane, Red Dead Redemption
Again, Bonnie is not your classic beauty. But she’s a real woman who’s not afraid to get her hands dirty. She’ll quite happily skin a rabbit, or shoot someone in the face to defend her home. You don’t have to worry about buying her flowers or chocolates. But the main reason Bonnie is easily Red Dead’s hottest female is the fact that John Marston’s wife is such an annoying bitch that you spend most of the game praying that a bear will come down from Tall Trees and rip her to shreds (and her son). Then Marston could get together with Bonnie and the world would be a better place!
#5 Jill Valentine, Resident Evil
“Watch out! It’s a monster!”
Sometimes you don’t want a woman for the conversation. Let’s face it, most of the things Jill says in Resi 1 (and every other character) are laughable. There is nothing there to stimulate the brain whatsoever. But you know sometimes all you need in life are good looks. Jill is smoking!
#4 Lara Croft, Tomb Raider
I toyed with the idea of not including old Lara in this list. I really did. She’s such a cliche it’s almost become a joke. But when I was 15 I did work experience at a model making company. One of the staff there showed a computer image of Miss Croft with her jubblies out! This blew my tiny teenage mind and must have stayed with me all these years. She’s still one of the greatest.
#3 Elizabeth, Bioshock Infinite
I freaking love Elizabeth! Like proper love. Like, take home to meet your mother love. To my mind there has never been a more perfect game character. She’s cute and sassy. I want to write her poems!
#2 Miranda, Mass Effect
A bit of honesty here… I’ve NEVER played a Mass Effect game. I’m sure they are great, they certainly look good fun. I’ve just never had the opportunity. What I have done is watched a few Lets Plays and other bits and pieces on the internet and in all honesty, there is only one character that has left an impact on me and wanted me to invest money in these games – Miranda. She has the body of a goddess. Sheer perfection.
#1 Chloe, Uncharted 2 & 3
Ah Chloe…. Chloe, Chloe, Chloe…. This lady has it all. Looks, a wardrobe full of figure hugging clothes, a great sense of humour, can seemingly wield any gun, a hot English accent, and lets not forget, that amazing arse. How Nathan Drake ever got any treasure hunting done with Chloe around is beyond me. Just why oh why was she left out of Uncharted 4!!!!?